| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2006|03:33 pm] |
boo!
maybe i should archive all this stuff before it gets vaped. |
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| 2 more 2 go |
[Nov. 5th, 2004|03:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | i'm still | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sugar water spilling | ] |
untitled.29
© 2004, oir
that real life light
opens up from a can
not as hot as the brightness suggests
it sucks up the warmth like a cold, wet towel
our stares are different
children grow up
and crayons get boring
even if we don't say it
i know it's there
somedays when i'm like this,
i'll be the light and you'll be the room. |
|
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| 180 |
[Aug. 9th, 2004|11:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | joy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ruffling crepe paper of my daughter's crown | ] |
untitled.28
© 2004, oir
sharpen eyes
gel up and acknowledge.
tiny hands with fingers
that fill me.
sharing in silence
hiding fantasies
and the joy of admission.
tonight my soul rests as well.
there is more growing
to the realm that is my heart. |
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| the lands of rain and green |
[Jul. 11th, 2004|01:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | is this peace? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mechanized air | ] |
untitled.27
© 2004, oir
thick velvet and darkest forest color
that is how my words should surround you
i release inside you
is how i surrender and slip into you
letting go, laying hands on the horse's neck
dying on the field, embraced upon
my killer's arms
wishing it was your eyes and not the limited sky
hold this secret
many have died for
and make my prayers not foolish
from what is meant to happen
to what we make happen
is hollowed out in me
and hallowed halls echo
a chorus of hope
one day fears will die |
|
|
| useless gravity |
[Jul. 8th, 2004|04:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | a sleep with no definition | ] |
| [ | music |
| | .Radiohead.~"Fake Plastic Trees"~[The Bends] | ] |
untitled.26
© 2004, oir
empty walnut shell head
i'm not willing
sun so bright it makes sound
like birds realizing
eyes so deliberate
they can see the lines
scan across the screen
adding an alien light
to your adored face
i'm falling asleep now
not because of you
because i'm infatuated with fatigue
i'm sorry
may this soft hand
caress my dreams
forever |
|
|
| sometime memories want attention |
[Jul. 6th, 2004|09:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | in a ball | ] |
| [ | music |
| | .Sigur Rós.~"Sigur 9 B"~[Sigur 1 - Sigur 9] | ] |
untitled.25
© 2004, oir
the kerosene and exhaust
an airport bus
wet ground
melted snow
my chest against my leather jacket
my hands are always cold
or always too sweaty
cold windows i could make love to
or at least melt with kisses
a moment i shared with myself
in the woods
covered in white and glass
the stillness swallowed me
the sun even gave in |
|
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| singing in falsetto out of joy |
[Jun. 25th, 2004|10:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | running inside your head | ] |
| [ | music |
| | .Sigur Rós.~"Sigur 9 B"~[Sigur 1 - Sigur 9] | ] |
untitled.24
© 2004
i think i put the brown in your eyes
sinking into them,
the color grows everyday
it's spider legs from inside you |
|
|
| not only falling trees |
[Jun. 23rd, 2004|03:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | running inside your head | ] |
| [ | music |
| | .Sigur Rós.~"Ég fæ jólagjöf [Live]"~[Gaukur á Stöng, Spring 1999] | ] |
untitled.23
© 2004
to be missed
to be adored
the unrecuperable feeling that loneliness has left
and that some understanding has taken its place
but it won't leave so easily and it will wait it out
i understand this
now i take without asking
in a place where the breeze matters
for each and every leaf
and i'm wanting
like the leaf
wants the earth |
|
|
| heartache and arching |
[Jun. 7th, 2004|10:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | the second before the water envelopes | ] |
| [ | music |
| | surging blood in the eardrums | ] |
untitled.22
© 2004, oir
i only feel
i'm left
with the memory of your scent
i'm happy
i can see colors in the shadowy blacks
if i only wait and watch a little further
have you ever been happy
in waiting?
i maim myself
with every possibility
of all that could go wrong
to find that
the maiming is all that is wrong
my skin is darkening
with summer's adolescence
and i only want this rain
while she is distracted
don't be so afraid anymore
there's always time for sleep
don't be so afraid
we can always find some sleep |
|
|
| from a prompt |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|04:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | running in place | ] |
| [ | music |
| | .Red House Painters.~"Japanese To English"~[Down Colorful Hill] | ] |
prose.02
© 2004, oir
her loss was necessary, i tell myself. like giving away some coins or letting the water from a faucet run over my palm. seemingly, completely natural now that i stand back and watch like a movie. i'm wondering if it should have hurt more, if i should be letting the pain take hold and find a nice hollowed out cave of pink inside me. if i should let it stay. but, now i see and feel that there isn't a need for a question. there is only a detached truth that it is over and that it will never happen again. like a christmas morning, so now, it should be about 3:30 in the afternoon and some of the charm has worn off the toys. now, i'm only anticipating the dinner and the talk and the knowing i'm with family. wishing it was colder outside, maybe to justify the space heater in the living room. maybe just to justify all the excitement for nothing.
but now i see that the loss was necessary. and that now, as the light is fading and the leaves are beginning to fall from one side of the forest to the other, we'll all share a common fate. it is so unspoken yet so dangerously felt. it makes me more scared everyday. it's a feeling that i don't want to die.
so, i remain standing here while i only share a view with someone in common, someone in place. sharing while the time is now and the ability is there. not asking for anything more than that and fearing the day we are cut down and serve another purpose rather than beautiful thought and seeping hope. some will call us angels while others ghosts. for whatever we are thought of, it matters only that we are thought of.
so i remain for now. |
|
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| a functioning soul |
[May. 31st, 2004|07:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | too something or other | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Darling Buds-"Gently Fall" | ] |
ant farms
© 2004, oir
your music is like
ants
like ants sharing secrets
running away after they're told
touching feelers for static
i'm missing your electric
the smell
and the taste
black
eye
staring. |
|
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| nothing left to do but wait |
[May. 26th, 2004|03:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | running in place | ] |
| [ | music |
| | .Medicine.~"Defective"~[Shot Forth Self Living] | ] |
prose.01
© 2004, oir
tasset gun off center and off weight like reloading a break apart shotgun. standing resiliently and guarding, there's still blood in these boots and powder for comfort. you are airplane sunshine. my stomach can't stand the pitching right now. i'm really wishing i could stop this plane. ok, then i'll flash back to the flourescent lighting of a ministry building where that guard is caressing the black metal. his keepers know they can't trust him but they can trust others less. we make yet another turn and it finally is beginning to feel like a bus instead of an airplane. i think the sweat has dried and cooled my neck. i so want this flight to be over so i can sleep next to you and talk about good things. comforting things. here i am, powder being blown away. |
|
|
| waiting to download, 55% |
[May. 25th, 2004|07:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | i'm ok with the presence of angels | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Notwist-"Neon Golden" | ] |
untitled.21
© 2004, oir
that hot feeling
so nauseated
fever
look at this
that is making us more human
than we want to be
i was safer
now i'm reaching
without a vocabulary
it's like heaven syrup
and i'm paying more attention
to the choking
than the swallowing |
|
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| sparrows and arrows |
[May. 25th, 2004|07:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | more of the same | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Notwist-"Pick Up The Phone" | ] |
untitled.20
©, oir
you have to worry
when
it's not a choice anymore
by then
it is ruined
just because you
didn't want to give in
i dropped a box of eggs.
talk talk talk
and listen
bending down to clean the mess,
you discover,
none of the eggs broke |
|
|
| nothing is as it seems |
[May. 25th, 2004|07:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | missing and found at the same time | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Notwist-"One Step Inside Doesn't Mean You Understand" | ] |
untitled.19
© 2004, oir
you have made me turn that corner
all of the nightmares
begins and ends
with your name
all the magic
has gone from
your words
terrible terrors
everyone knows
who i mean
everyone lives into
everyone elses
dreams
carry this night
like i carried
this flag
for you |
|
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| never fall in love |
[May. 18th, 2004|07:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | whispers | ] |
| [ | music |
| | whispered lies | ] |
untitled.18
© 2004, oir
the trees are bending
my eyes water
feverish and congruent
palest pall on your fish meat white breasts.
no one wants the life i wanted
i wish i could sing out sweetly
and touch everyone's heart
like fruit on a tree.
swaying like a cello bow
you can't be imperfect
when you are trying that note.
the audience winces
yet will applaud.
when i kill this off
i'll be emptier than words. |
|
|
| hands off looking swearing |
[May. 13th, 2004|08:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | there's birds flying | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mustard seeds growing | ] |
untitled.17
© 2004, oir
black blood
like on the ceiling.
sheen of peach light
off magnificent photos
60 years old.
warmth, close to heat.
let's slip into each other
like we once did—
for warmth
compassion
understanding.
i dreamt of intangible love,
the kind that weeps for understanding. |
|
|
| spaiku |
[May. 11th, 2004|10:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | dada dodo | ] |
| [ | music |
| | drone of humanity | ] |
spam haikus=spaiku
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) cratermoon
today's biopsy:
milkweed grady hyades amanita aversion ouch assemble bluet argument charitable dispensary trenchermen rattail cheesecake palindromic midwives powderpuff boswell arrhenius dawson
today's spaiku:
midwives assemble
charitable argument
bluet aversion |
|
|
| krinkled paper sack and outer realm sights |
[May. 7th, 2004|12:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | nobody believes in me | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cold ocean water (suicide tuesday)-"pennsylvania" | ] |
pennsylvania
© 2004, rodríguez, earnest
download it
this mark
on your heart
where i was
where i was
driving
in the state
the door
was your only way out
get out
get out
this mark
on your heart
this mark
on your heart
can you forget me?
can you forget me?
forget me.
ocean
© 2004, suicide tuesday
(earnest, stingley, rodríguez)
download it
in this ocean
where the sun can't reach us
we've realized we've sunk
within our own doubt
where have all the people gone?
i was born here, i was born here.
i am not afraid of anyone but you.
i am not afraid—
in this sad ocean
barren and cold
we play on god's time
our bodies sink further
where have all the people gone?
are they all dead, are they all dead?
i am not afraid of anyone but you
i am not afraid to die—
any time but now, any place but here
i don't want to. |
|
|
| everyday is a certain bit of hell |
[May. 6th, 2004|09:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | i'll share a smile with you if you hold my hand | ] |
| [ | music |
| | .suicide tuesday.~"everyday"~[blind devotion] | ] |
everyday
© 2004 suicide tuesday
(rodríguez, earnest, stingley)
mp3
empty eyes
empty face
this is not my blood on the halls
close your eyes
don't let the walls rise
i'm so terrified to go outside
everyday—
everyday—
once again i find myself telling lies
i tell myself not to trust
and you show me this book
on how i should live
my face is turning red
everyday—
everyday—
sacreligious existence
under a blood red sun
it all falls down
i'm supposed to be the strong one
but all i need is your
hand in mine
everyday—
everyday— |
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